Responsibility Is Killing Me

Many People blame "it" on individual tasks, obligations, and problems-paying bills, mowing the lawn, standing in line for hours at the DMV, work deadlines, crashed hard drives, grocery store trips, speeding tickets, etcetera. What People are failing to realize here is an underlying yet overbearing theme: responsibility. Oh, have I mentioned that "it" is your life going to hell in a hand-basket?

No one is completely exempt from this. Anyone who's even remotely capable of getting themselves dressed, making their own meals, holding down a job, and being in a relationship is responsible. It's hard to be completely irresponsible. If we were, nothing would ever get done, civilization and society would grind to an archaic standstill, and as a species of animals, we humans probably wouldn't have even made it this long on the evolutionary timeline. But (and it's a big but) where the problem lies is the murky gray line that separates common-day responsibilities from the life sucking, debilitating ones. I am talking about those responsibilities that at their core are designed to strip you of your very personality. What you also might not know is that you have been the one busy designing your own destruction. I know it's hard to grapple with, but let me explain.

Every new monthly bill you took on, every relationship you held together, every time you got promoted at work, every time you said "yes" or "i've got it," every single moment you spent deciding to do something over nothing (or the wrong thing), you took another step toward a full head of grey hair. You're okay with gray hair? How about loosing your hair? Or maybe you prefer ulcers, backaches, a bad complexion, dark recessed eyes, insomnia, or headaches? I think science has even proven that stress can take years off your life expectancy. Am I freaking you out? Okay. Well, here's the good part.

What are we saving "life" for, anyway? As far as I can tell, we've only got one life to live. If I'm busy NOT checking tasks off lists, NOT bitting off things bigger than i can chew, NOT spending money I don't have, NOT staying up late to do one more thing, then what is it that I AM doing?

What am I saving up for? Why not spend all the personality I can spare? Why not say,"yes" to as many new challenges I can possibly count? I'm not saying I'm going to drink myself into oblivion, rob a store, and drive off a cliff 'cause hey, who the fuck cares? But instead, it's up to each of us to make our lives unique and full of experiences. Responsibility and our ability to choose are the catalysts of a full life. If we are constantly passing on new responsibilities, sure ... we might be able to sleep easier knowing tomorrow is going to be a breeze. But why not sign yourself up for one more thing? It might just be amazing. Hell, it might be your last experience. I'm not sure about you, but I'll sleep when I'm dead.

It's clear that life was in fact designed to destroy itself. You might as well do yourself a favor and make as big a life as you possibly can. It might be your only chance.